Somebody called trying to sell me a postage meter from Pitney Bowes.
I don’t mail letters, I told her. All my friends have email.
What if they don’t, she countered.
I have nothing to say to them other than – get a computer.
What about viruses, she countered.
I realized I spent too much time talking about OT – old technology. It seemed sad.
I’ve had in mind for years to install slatwall and hang my musical instruments to keep them off the floor. First for clutter and second because I have in-floor heat. On stands, guitars have been know to separate.
I spray painted the slatwall to maintain a unifrom appearance in the house, using the same color as the walls.
There were two pieces and I couldn’t help nicking the paint when installing the screws. Not wanting to have to re-touch the whole paint job I put my sleeping cap on and retired for the night.
The next morning it struck me: build a metal shield to protect the edges of the slot. Taking the idea to a sheet metal shop they fashioned the jug in the picture. The electrical tape just prevents the metal from scratching the painted surface.
I installed more than 80 screws with only one nick. The other thing the jig prevents is screw bit damage when the drill slips.
The one he made is tinned steel and it did wear. I would use #6 screws next time for more head clearance
So I am into this on-line dating thing but I throw my hands up in despair. I cannot get profile writing down.
Despite decades of writing experience my profiles sound boring, dry, even clinical.
“I am a male who likes to talk long walks on the beach and hold hands and watch movies and anything you want to do is OK with me and I will cook a delicious 7-course meal while you drink cocktails on the deck.”
If every couple really liked to take moonlit walks on the beach they’d have to post traffic cops in the National Park. Hell, when it gets close to moonlight time, all the girls I know are downtown dancing or want to go to bed.
I think girls are onto me about the cooking thing – I always cook one super meal and after they move in, not another moment is spent at the stove. Oops revealing my secrets.
So I tried to upgrade my profile and give the gals a look at the real me, big mistake. Pointed them to my blogs and Facebook. That’s me or at least the on-line side of me.
So listen to the response I got yesterday -
Truly, reading your profile and some of your site info….I don’t think I would be someone you could connect with….you are way too deep for me….not that I can’t be deep but I am naturally not deep….I am sure you get what I am trying to say….I so respect people like you…so involved and active. Makes me feel like I am coasting thru….”
I give up.
I’m going out to the University and advertise for a nymphomaniac with a Phd.
Some years ago when things weren’t going well for me…I’d lost my company in a corporate takeover. I lost my wife. My kids wouldn’t talk to me. My old friends were nowhere to be found and lost my ability to walk.
I went to therapy. That’s the thing you do.
I was moaning and groaning about all this and the therapist asked me
“What did you do today?”
“Nothing.”
“Didn’t you tell me you went to Mass at noon, like everyday?”
“Oh yeah that.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing, same old thing.”
“Why do you go?”
“Well I like to say hello to the 95 year old man from St. Peters. And then there’s Mr. B who seems depressed so I say hello to him.”
“How many people do you talk to at Mass?”
“Lemme see…one…three…five to seven.”
“Every day?”
“More on Sunday. I go early to pray and people interrupt me to say hello. One Sunday the sun shone through the window and the A’s said it looked like God’s light on me.”
“That was a nice thing for them to say.”
“Yes and she’s often depressed about things but I try to cheer her up.”
“That’s why you’re here. Not for your ex-wife, or your children, or you old employees, or your old friends. You’re here because you have the power, despite all that’s been done to you to cheer other people up. You cheer me up by your willingness to shoulder the burdens you have. By your genuine interest in their lives and your optimism.”
“I should be coming to see you but you need a little more help to see what you’re good at.”
“I never thought of it. I just do it.”
“Well don’t stop at the church steps. Spend some time doing it everywhere.”
